don’t mean you look in the mirror and love everything you see. Do you actually love your body? Because sometimes I really don’t. I’m frustrated it won’t do what I want. It loses weight where I don’t want to lose (i.e. chest), gains where I don’t want to gain (i.e. thighs). Things I think should work to lose weight don’t. It just won’t simply bend to my will. I can’t outsmart it.
In some ways, it’s still a mystery to me. I wonder why the hell I’m not pregnant, for one. (This particular section of the rant should be hidden behind a jump but I don’t know how to do that.) My ex best frenemy is now 1 month pregnant and I’m feeling pretty angry. At my body. Jealous. And petty. It’s like WTF body?! I feed you good things, I move you around (to dance rhythyms no less), and I give you 8 hours of sleep most nights. Am I not treating you right? I wonder why I hover around this plateau even though I’m trying to change things up.
But maybe I have this all wrong. Maybe those yogis and health hippies have something right. Maybe, just maybe, I should be nurturing my body (all natural vegan foods?), loving it unconditionally, doing only soothing exercises (yoga), avoiding anything too strenuous (nature hikes instead of running).
I’m feeling a little off balance, a little lost and a whole lot of frustration.
